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Rolang's Creeping Doom

Why are Those Orcs Wearing Lipstick?

October 19, 2010 3:11 am / 2 Comments / Chris
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The party’s scout peers over the fence. Two of the orcs are stand in front of the others, dressed as orcish women with exaggerated femininity and impossibly buxom anatomy. Two others are walking on their knees dressed as halflings, smoking pipes and speaking in squeeky-high voices. One has a gigantic fake phallus emerging from his cloak. The rest of the camp is doubled over in laughter.

The popular play Courtship of the River Women is a comedy, an a raunchy one at that. The women of an orcish village decide they have had enough of waiting for their husbands, who are at war. They take on male halfling slaves as lovers. Most of the play involves the elaborate and comic ways in which the orcish women trick the halflings into bed. After many hijinks, the men return to discover their wives refuse to have sex with them until they give up war and take up farming (there is a repeating gag about the size of vegetables). The men listen thoughtfully, hold a pow-wow, then kill and eat the women and the halflings.

So it is a comedy by the definition of orcish poetics.

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Posted in: content, humor, legacy D&D / Tagged: humor, orcs, play, surprise

2 Thoughts on “Why are Those Orcs Wearing Lipstick?”

  1. Daniel "Theophage" Clark on December 22, 2010 at 9:07 am said:

    Why is your blog not more popular? This is fantastic stuff!

  2. Chris on December 22, 2010 at 9:44 am said:

    I’m lucky to find time enough to do any of this. Not a lot of time to publicize. We’ll see. After the new year perhaps.

    I am glad you like it. That’s far more important to me that the few who know about this blog seem to be enjoying it. I’ll be blogging much more often now that the semester from hell is over.

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