Dear Satan Claws,
I’ve been trying to be a good DM. Sorry ’bout that hell mouth thing. For Xmas could I please has a list of things the bad guys are doing with human and/or demihuman prisoners … or why the bad guys built a prison? & who/what the warden is in each case?
What are the bad guys doing to the prisoners?
Making them mine for mithril/gold/saltpeter/magic purple mushrooms. Because dwarves like the carving and the forging, not the digging. Supervisor: Bluebeard of Mangledroit
Testing the effects of purple lotus root. Warden: Mullifer the Alchemist.
Giving them an hour’s head start. Because man is the deadliest game of all. Host: Ranger Pud
Target practice for mages. Manager: Molgo the Banished
Food for manticores, sphinxes, minotaurs, dragons, vampires… Chef: Drexel (a drider)
Forging weapons and armor for the overlord’s army. Smithmeister: Drogo Hammertoe of the Foggy Mountain
The prisoners’ constant prayers for deliverance create enough psychic noise to hide a secret weapon or experiment from the prying eyes of the gods. Holy Representative: Archbishop Sylass
Breeding them with other demihuman and human races in search of the perfect soldier. Mixmistriss: Mellicent Woe
Parts for the flesh golem army. Master Surgeon: Doctor Fronk ibn Steen
Made to learn demonic script and read a specific text aloud in order to determine the correct pronunciation. When a new syllable is correctly pronounced, the prisoner is usually consumed by infernal flames or some other such fate. Warden Moxtras the Equipoised hopes to reverse engineer a new spell this way.
Prisoners are subjected 24/7 to the constant chanting of a dark mantra. Once they have given in and joined the chanting, some are released and sent out into the world, where they inevitable spread the mantra, which will bring about the end. No warden or guards. Just the Chanters.
This elvish re-education camp is used to create and seed stereotypical forest-loving, bow using, human magic casting elves into the world. These elves are used to cast a more favorable light on elves in general, who are actually quite alien in their emotions, comportment and sexual tastes. Headmaster: Fraringas Awemawë of the Thistle Meadow
Hobbits use orcish prison labor to dig their holes. As this also involves the use of giant worm-like creatures, there’s a high casualty rate. Site Manager: Gobbo Stoutbarrel
Prisoners of the gnomes are forced to manufacture magic wands in terrible living conditions. Head Whip: Fawkes Khan
Illusionist training camp allows illusionists to hone their art on the helpless prisoners. Sometimes prisoners are convinced that they have been freed and are living at home. CEO: Moringen Pumblebrot, Burghogoblin of Tandoor