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Random Hermit Generator

May 22, 2012 10:20 am / 14 Comments / Chris
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Heikki Hallamaa said:

If it’s OK to ask for another, then I’d have a use for a table full of weird hermits.

Milarepa, Greta Garbo, John LeCarré and Nikola Tesla having dinner. I’ll be here all week.

Here you go, Heikki. Roll five times.

Random Hermit Generator

Roll 1d10 five times Obsession  Converses with People Tolerated Quirk Secret
1 Meditation No one No one Talks in rhyme Related to party member
2 Prayer Birds Children Crawls on all fours Noble birth
3 Math Plants Sick people Calls everyone same name Great Swordsman
4 Botany Animals Lovers Farts constantly (hilarious) Spying on local child, waiting to train when old enough
5 Magic Rocks Most Unlike Self Collects others’ hair Wanted for crimes
6 Animal Husbandry Invisible Friend* Minstrels Great cook Former entertainer
7 Monster Biology Ghosts Seekers Talks backwards Veteran
8 Translation Puppets Lowest Caste Picks same lock all day Is a polymorphed monster
9 Supernatural Events Dead Mother’s Corpse  Perverts Herds cats Nothing
10 Apocalypse Roll again, but this time the results are imaginary Anyone with food Writer It’s all an act

* In the interests of clarity: a roll of 6 means a real, invisible friend. If you roll a 10 then a 6, then the invisible friend is not real. If someone talks to an imaginary rock, then the rock is not real but he will swear he has to squeeze by this boulder (that he talks to) to get into his cave. OR, if you roll a 10 then an 8, he thinks he has puppets on his hands and basically converses with his hands. A 10 then a 9? Mom might be alive. Or he might have someone else’s skeleton (maybe someone obviously not his mother, like a dwarf). Have fun.

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Posted in: campaign window dressing, humor, legacy D&D / Tagged: bring it, hermits, tables

14 Thoughts on “Random Hermit Generator”

  1. Theo on May 22, 2012 at 6:35 pm said:

    It would be pretty handy to get a list of some things that could be found at a Goblin Market.

  2. Chris on May 22, 2012 at 6:36 pm said:

    This is the next to last post in response to your requests, aka “Bring It”.
    http://www.rolang.com/archives/tag/bring-it

  3. Chris on May 22, 2012 at 6:48 pm said:

    Clever Goblins or Orcish Goblins?

  4. Chris on May 22, 2012 at 9:31 pm said:

    I’ve edited the post based on feedback to make it more clear what the second column means.

  5. Paul on May 23, 2012 at 12:02 am said:

    Goblin Market like the rosetti poem? Badass! 1-9 would be fruits and 0 would make you roll on the non-fruit subtable.

  6. thunderchao on May 23, 2012 at 5:22 am said:

    Saw your table, decided to make a short little program out of it (and I did credit you, I promise!).

    check it out: https://github.com/thunderchao/roleplaying/blob/master/hermit-gen.py

  7. Heikki Hallamaa on May 23, 2012 at 6:04 am said:

    Excellent! (in mr. Burns’s voice)

  8. Chris on May 23, 2012 at 8:01 am said:

    @thunderchao: Nice.
    I’ve never seen a WHILE loop used in that way for something like this. But I’m not formally trained.

  9. Eric Minton on May 23, 2012 at 3:23 pm said:

    I like it! Very specialized, but that’s par for the course with old-school table generation.

  10. wasniahC on May 23, 2012 at 3:25 pm said:

    I have one thing to say, and that is.. Farts constantly + It’s all an act? DEDICATION.

  11. TJ on May 23, 2012 at 6:06 pm said:

    Awesome chart…rolled up some pure craziness right off the bat.

    Hermit that speaks to animals, tolerates anyone with food, and is an awesome cook.

    Introducing: He-Who-Speaks-To-Ingredients

  12. Shawn on May 24, 2012 at 2:50 pm said:

    In the recesses of my mind, I had this idea for an NPC based on a real event. When Alexander of Macedonia’s father was murdered, the greek representatives from each city-state had just arrived. Alexander demanded a vote on his legitimacy as the ruler of Macedonia and showed up with the Macedonian army and parked them outside the court door. Two leaders left in disgust, while the rest voted yes one was absent. Alexander marched his honor guard out to his estate. He was laying naked in a clay pit tanning. Alexander said “Why did you not show at the vote?” The leader replied, “You’re blocking my light. I’m trying to get a tan.” The honor guard rose swords to kill him and Alexander held them back and said, “If I wasn’t Alexander, I’d be him.”

    So, I imagined a mystic ascetic cleric. He is perfecting the art of not-caring about anything. His devotion has led to a blessing of invisibility. Not really invisible, just nobody cares to notice him. He wanders about naked, taking fruit from vendors at his leisure, the vendors never notice. He spends his days perfecting his tan, his one last attachment that he cares about. Problem is the PCs need something from him. They hear about him, they pursue finding out about him. All kinds of people once knew him growing up, at the temple etc, some swear he was just here but can’t remember much detail for some reason. If they try, the have noticeable difficulty. The PCs will see food items disappear around them at random times if they make notice rolls. Eventually, someone will care enough to see him and track him down to his tanning pit. At this point, he’s entirely unhelpful and will lecture about giving up worldly attachments and joining him, and will complain about standing in his sun for tanning. The key to getting what they need from him is to point out he’s attached to his tan. At which point he will render assistance and thank the PCs for helping him on his path. He vanishes, never to be heard from again.

  13. Surfer on September 19, 2015 at 12:11 am said:

    >Farts constantly (hilarious)

    1. Leave your commentary out of it.

    2. Not hilarious. Not even close to “mildly amusing”

  14. Chris on November 13, 2015 at 9:55 am said:

    1. It’s my blog, it’s my table. Feel free to start your own.

    2. In real life, no.

    Welcome to the internet, Surfer. It’s full to opinions and gross humor.

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