Category Archives: Npc

Table of untested, untrustworthy and somewhat incompetent henchmen

July 15, 2013 5:51 am / 6 Comments / Chris

John on said:    Actually I just got done rewriting CSIO to give it a slightly more low-magic, swords-and-sorcery feel… a table of possible henchmen for hire…

Here’s a table of untested, untrustworthy and somewhat incompetent henchmen.

Roll 1d20 for each column	Former Occupation	Incompetence	Motivation	Attribute
1	Barkeep	Bad at fighting	Sick relative	Nervous
2	Gravedigger	Equipment upkeep	On the Lam	Tells bad jokes
3	Town Guard/Jailor	Falls asleep on watch	Just greedy	Overconfident
4	Headsman	Coward	Pride (wants to jump class/caste)	Obsessed with bathing
5	Prostitute or madam	Easily confused	Owes money to a wizard	Glutton
6	Knight	Clumsy	Under a spell	Drunkard
7	Farmer	Sociopath	The thrill	Angry
8	Shepherd/cattleman	Easily discouraged	Spoils of war	Young
9	Bard	Hero worship	Tales of old	Religious
10	Sailor	Oblivious	Misplaced sense of chivalry	A witch
11	Craftsman	Wooden leg	Redemption	Sings off key
12	Librarian/scholar	Loud	Prove self/earn money to marry	Good medic
13	Clergy (non adventuring)	Very stupid	Daddy/mommy issues	Insomniac
14	Sewer cleaner	Physically weak	Just crazy	Afraid of or dislike of non-humans
15	Printer	Wanders off	No other options in old profession	Hedonist
16	Cook or household servant	Can’t count	Wants to travel far away	A boor
17	Actor	No sense of direction	Voices in head giving orders	Lecherous
18	Town bureaucrat	Absent minded	Mean	Think of self as equal or superior to employers
19	Street vendor	Kleptomaniac	Death wish	A fan of gladiators/adventurers
20	Town crier	Generally mildly incompetent -1 to all attempts to do anything	Prove worthy to god	Knows many local legends, all untrue or the details are wrong in some crucial way

Posted in: legacy D&D, NPC / Tagged: bring it, henchmen, tables

Minor Noble’s Entouage

February 4, 2013 1:53 pm / 1 Comment / Chris

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Claytonian on said:    Members of the noble’s entourage. Interesting and dangerous characters that attend to the noble and protect him while doing in vogue things too.

This request is from the Mundane Request Thread.

Minor nobles will allow almost anyone into their entourage for the sake of having an entourage, which is of course a sign of great importance.

Firstly, there is the body man or handmaid—the servant who knows the noble most intimately as They also know what wig powder to use, which eau de toilette to use as the most recent bath fades further into memory and gernally deal with the soiled handkerchiefs, spurned milkmaids/stable boys and stained smallclothes of the minor noble.

The Cook. They are generally quite bad, as the good cooks are already taken, but he entire entourage is obliged to publically praise the food so as not to shame the noble for not being able to hire a good one.

The Syncophant: Usually a cousin or even lesser noble, this person desperately hangs on to the nobles ever word, laughs at the worst jokes and secretly hopes to have a torrid affair with the noble.

The Guard: This is by far the most well-paid member of the entourage, for without the guard, any number of people might kill the noble out of sheer loathing. The Guard, in fact, would be first in line were he not paid well.

The Secretary: The minor noble may have been tutored (see tutor below) but when it comes to actually writing an eloquent letter, the secretary puts quill to paper. He also keeps the schedule and acts as a social director (begs for invitations).

Driver/Groomsman: takes care of the horses, carriage and does the driving.

Protégé: Every noble must have a protégé artist in order to be called a patron. Poet, musician or painters only. Actors are gauche. Jesters are for kings.

Prostitute: some nobles have a bed-warmer. If so, this person is near the top of the hierarchy.

Beast: A noble will typically have a deformed person or beast (read: orc) hanger-on who serves as the bottom of the pecking order.

Banker: Entourages are expensive and many minor nobles are deep in debt in order to support them. The banker is a minor representative of the bank that keeps the noble afloat. Why? Influence.

Posted in: campaign window dressing, legacy D&D, NPC / Tagged: bring it, mundane, npcs

Dice Drop Table: Institute of Deathology

February 7, 2012 5:32 pm / 4 Comments / Chris

Dice drop for basement of Necromancer's Lab

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This table I call the Institute of Deathology. It can be used to quickly populate a necromancer’s tower or hidden lab. It works almost the same as yesterday’s Kaotic Cave, but has fewer possible encounters. You get one die for each room on the same level and drop it on the chart. The large hex the die falls mostly in suggests the theme and use of the room along with a possible occupant. If the die falls in the inner hex, or the occupant is not mobile, then the occupant is there. Otherwise, wait and see where else it might be. If the die is on the border of a few large hexes, see what it touches that goes well together. This tool is meant to suggest, not dictate, so go with whatever makes sense to you and looks fun.

I’m going to populate four floors of a tower that has two rooms each. There are only 12 possible ‘encounters’ on this table, but some rooms might be empty and I’m going to have the head necromancer be in her quarters on the fifth floor.

First two dice come up square on the shoggoth and the traitorous demon familiar.

Dice drop for basement of Necromancer's Lab

Basement

A shoggoth is hidden in the corner of a room that includes a captive NPC (unconscious or crazy or mute, let’s say), a hideous painting, broken glass, a golden leash, a scroll of banishment and a slime trail near the door. I think I’ll make the cellar one big room and add the familiar, the ‘phone’ to other planes and the broken iron chains. I could have added the rest of the trappings around the familiar but the die fell only barely on the familiar and the room is already pretty rich with stuff. The familiar or the NPC might have useful information or want to help you deal with the necromancer. The demon is not to be trusted, of course, and might just forget to mention the shoggoth…

Ground Floor

Room one is where the talking head is. Let’s say they use it as an entryway decoration or mojordomo. The d4 doesn’t touch the inner hex, so he could be away (perhaps getting repaired next door). I’ll wait and see what else comes up then decide. In the meantime, the entryway has at least the column the head stands on, a music box, a tray of hard candies and a library (probably for show). Hidden away is a case for the head (to sleep at night) and vials of blood (for maintenance). The d4 also hit ‘cadaver’ but since I only want 2 rooms per level, I’ll just have a dead body in the entryway. Perhaps Igor needs to take it upstairs…
Room two. The d10 landed mostly on oil lamp and barrel of eyeballs and only a but on shovel, tools and rope. Let’s put the caged zombie(s) room in back with those things and also the straight jacket, lightning prod, mummified cat and the parts on the tables. Seems Igor is making a mess today…

Floor 2

The d10 landed square on the doppelganger apprentice. It has foreign coins, a sword, mirror, torn clothes, a wig and a bottle of poison. (Why does a doppleganger need a wig? I dunno. Maybe they don’t do hair so well. Maybe they need a magic wig? Maybe I made this late at night?). There’s also a secret exit here.

Now the tower isn’t going to have a special room for uninvited doppelgangers, so let’s look at the other die. It landed on the corner of library, sleeping quarters and is also touching privy, cadaver and parts in drawers (for the clockwork corpse). Let’s forget the parts, but use library and sleeping chambers. Let’s also use sleeping chambers but not for the head necromancer, who is on the top floor. Here’s what we get:

Sleeping quarters. There is a dead body here with a wig, torn clothes and a dresser with a mirror. On the dresser are some coins, which on close inspection turn out to be from a foreign land. In the pricy is a doppelganger who has killed the assistant Igor (in the privy no less) and has just shoved the body down the latrine along with its wig and old clothes. It now looks like Igor and is deciding what to do next. There is a secret exit at the bottom of the privy pit, but the doppelganger doesn’t know. Might be interesting if Igor is just unconscious for a few hours…
Library. There should probably be some scrolls and books here.

Floor 3

The d4 is on Igor’s hex, but he’s indisposed. This is the kitchen, pantry and Igor has a small cot in back. Under his cot is some tasteful woodblock ‘art’, a holy book, and the petty cash for buying household goods. I would suggest swapping this room out with the zombie room below. It’s more likely a servant’s quarters and kitchen are located below, far away from the master’s room.
Naga in tank. This captive naga lives in a large tank. There is a book on a stand near the tank, so it can read. There’s also a painting of a hell-like place, a kaleidoscope which with the book are probably carrots to get the naga to do as it’s asked. Then the sticks are here as well-a harpoon and feeding fish.

Top Floor

This is the necromancer’s quarters. She has sleeping chambers, a privy, a wine ‘cellar’ (let’s say several bottles and some cups), an hour glass, a potion of youth and a cat. There’s also a secret exit here that is most certainly not the privy. Perhaps it is a teleportal to a safe spot a few miles away, designed to allow one person and one cat through before deactivating. Whether she is around is up to you. She could be in the library, zombie room or the basement.

One thing I forgot–where’s the talking head? In the sleeping quarters on the dresser (on a pillow) where Igor sometimes let it nap. It saw the doppelganger kill Igor but played dead.

I hope you find this useful. It was fun to make, as goofy as it is.

Institute of Deathology v1 (1.8 MB)

Posted in: campaign window dressing, content, encounters, NPC / Tagged: bring it, drop table, necromancer, npcs, tables

Eighteen Common Hireling Motivations

February 1, 2012 5:15 pm / 4 Comments / Chris

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Lasgunpacker said:

Dear Sanity-clause,
Although I have not been good this year, I would like: a 3d6 table of hireling/follower/retainer goals and objectives
(traditional)

Thank you,
lasgunpacker

Since 3d6 is a bell curve, the most common goals and objectives will be in the middle. I tried to keep these traditional. I included some literary and film examples in some cases, although I don’t think they are necessary.

Roll 3d6	Objective
3	Maybe I will find a cure for this curse/disease/malformity.
4	One of the PC’s will be a great leader and I will be his right hand!
5	Restore honor to the family name.
6	Need money to ransom sister/mother/brother/son/father/pet owlbear.
7	Village/home burned to the ground (Luke Skywalker)
8	See the world! Meet interesting people! And take their stuff!
9	Get enough food (or gold) for family to survive winter/rainy season/drought. (Young Genghis Khan)
10	Prove worthy of a bride/groom/honor.
11	Just plain mean. Likes to kill. (The Comedian)
12	Prove that I’m better than Dad/Mom/Uncle Joe. (Jaime Lannister)
13	Former prisoner. No one else wants me. I’ll take what I want. (Jack Sparrow, Riddick)
14	Wants to learn the ropes. (Incrediboy)
15	Just one last score/adventure/war then I can quit. (Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon)
16	Really a peasant/woman/child, but wants to be accepted as a warrior (Kikuchiyo)
17	Works for the party’s enemies.
18	Believes fighting the dark forces/monsters is a religious calling.

Posted in: campaign window dressing, legacy D&D, NPC / Tagged: bring it, motivations, npcs

Twelve Fantasy Tavern Flies / Galactic Races

January 31, 2012 1:07 pm / 2 Comments / Chris

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This is what we scientists call a “Twofer”:

Twelve (or more) drunken named NPCs found in the local inn or tavern.

Kudos for doing this.

A list of things the big bad corporation is doing to the supernaturals they’ve kidnapped. New World of Darkness spacefaring campaign, so any sort of supernatural you can think of could be included.

Alternatively, just a list of strange aliens to use in said campaign would be great too. Whatever’s easier.

Twelve Fantasy Tavern Flies / Galactic Races

Roll 1d12	Name	Scifi Desc.	Fantasy Desc.
1	Hoblart	Walking Sore	Walking Source of Sores
2	Moosasa	Dark Multi-eyed merchants	Dark Elf Merchant, sees six of everything
3	Argle	Upright walking chihuahua-looking bipeds	Short, loud, barely walking
4	Mooch	Tall, thin, gold-skinned worms	Tall, thin, no gold, probably has worms
5	Walp	Two senses: Touch and smell	Smells and wants to touch you
6	Merple	Galactic banking race	Always broke, asking for money
7	Zaras	Sharp exoskeletal spines	Draws a knife at the slightest provocation
8	Poi	Inside-out parrot-looking things	Has pet bird that talks
9	Lola	Sentient liquid, looks like lava lamp	Fat, loses temper easily
10	Lyssa	Has seven ears, three mouths	The town gossip
11	Prap	Slave race, used as laborers.	Village Idiot. Large.
12	Inid	Octopoid. Extremely Clever.	Doesn’t drink. Not to be trusted.

Posted in: campaign window dressing, content, legacy D&D, NPC / Tagged: bring it, science fiction

Weird City Encounters

December 4, 2011 11:50 pm / 2 Comments / Chris

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John writes:

I’m always eager to exploit other people and steal their ideas. I request a table of weird city encounters, as many as you feel like doing.

Weird City Encounters

Choose or roll 1d… uh.. 14?

1	In Harley Square is fountain where some believe commune with dead relatives on special nights. In the fountain is Narys, shape-changing water nymph with ESP.
2	Messr. Pontius Meerlanker likes to take Fidelis, his dog (his touch has the same effects as a rust monster) for a stroll through crowded streets.
3	At the gate to the cemetery, a dozen brightly-colored parrots have learned to repeat a charm-person spell. Hundreds stare at them all day until dragged home by family. Others die staring up at their ledge.
4	Four bearded and shabby Masters of the Far-Reaching Conspiracy stand on a soapbox in the market and scream their secret plans to the world. Everything they say is well-known by many and is considered completely preposterous.
5	Esmerelda is a tall warrior woman will fight all comers in a back alley fight club. The warrior who defeats her gets to marry her. (She is a pennangalan).
6	This nameless shade is rarely seen but always heard playing a dulcimer and singing at market. He plays the dulcimer and sings the darkest secrets of a random passerby or party member. If spotted, he disappears.
7	Marco the Simpleton stabs the tree with his scissors, all day, every day. If he does not, the tree will burrow down and tunnel 100 yards toward the palace, then resurface. Eventually, it will kill the young prince.
8	Shad the Farrier will buy your old or injured horse. Under his stable is a secret room where he tries, unsuccessfully, to sew centaurs using the horses and those who pass out drunk in the alleys.
9	The travelling zoo has an albino ape that has been trained to sit and eat at the table, dress herself and paint. Paintings are often auctioned off. She hides cries for help in her paintings. Maybe you should help her. (She is a polymorphed little girl from an island of vicious spellcasting cannibals.)
10	Aphrodite the harlot beckons customers to follow her. She leads them to ever darker corners until they are…
11	Stump the Small is a human somewhere between the height of a dwarf and a halfling. He spies on dwarfs, gnomes, halflings and faeries. He is the best and he is expensive. He is wanted dead by many.
12	Elzeer, Orkney and Blount are the clothmeisters, powerful merchant patricians who must approve all textiles before they are brought to market or exported. They are giant weevils in disguise and will attempt to confiscate or steal any magical cloth or clothing the smell in the city. They eat it and gain powers.
13	Marzetz the Sommelier will offer to tell you, for a small fee, how appetizing your blood is to vampyres. (Roll 1d6. He is unerringly correct, but not a vampyre.)
14	The Eastgate Bat sometimes flies during the day. If he hangs from a streetlamp, archway or gate, none of the locals will pass it, less their souls be forfeit to the bat. Some approach him and leave offerings, hoping to buy back their loved one’s souls.

Need something for an upcoming game? You can get in on this by posting here. For every request, I’ll donate $1 to a charity to be named soon (up to $150).

Posted in: content, encounters, legacy D&D, NPC / Tagged: bring it, table, urban, weird

Outcast Mages

October 18, 2010 6:03 am / Leave a Comment / Chris

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In my last two posts, I’ve played with the idea that Magic Users can be established in a campaign as hermits, con-men and outcasts. This can be done without changing the rules or the class in any appreciable way, aside from perhaps changing the way the Read Magic spell is learned.

Here’s a few brief character backgrounds that you might find useful.

Renard (level 1) was a wagon driver’s son. When a hitchhiking traveler felled bandits by throwing rainbow lights from his hands, he was in the way, but lived. The old man’s chanting suddenly made sense to him, which lead to nightmares. Years later, as an apprentice to a bookbinder, he discovered he could read a client’s book that contained the old man’s verse. This was First Spell (read magic). He copied the entire book and has memorized one other poem from it (magic missile). He can’t wait to say the verse aloud to see what happens.

Nicolette (Level 2) married well, passing from her father’s modest but noble household into the house of her husband’s father, the Count Dufresne. The morning after her wedding night, her mother-in-law instructed her in the expectations of the ladies of House Dufresne. She was horrified to discover that the women of Dufresne, unbeknownst to their husbands, have maintained the family position and wealth through the use of witchcraft. After a year she escaped, hoping to find some way of atoning for her great sin of sorcery. Unfortunately, she cannot get through the day without spells in her head, so she has brought along a spell book. She has no idea where she will go and is sure her mother-in-law is hunting her. (She is right but does not know her mother-in-law is a lich).

Asa (Level 5) is a wife, mother of four and the matriarch of troupe of traveling performers. She is no longer the acrobat she once was, but the magic she learned as a child from her grandmother has helped her on many occasions. She uses it to enhance fireworks, catch falling acrobats, cover the tracks of her pickpocket son, and grow and remove the beard from her prettiest daughter. The women of her clan know the spells of illusion and scrying. The men learn magical combat and the ceremonies of summoning. Her husband is level 4. Most of the clan’s adults are levels 1-3.

Le Grognard (Level 12) is what the locals call Pollard of Huc. He mumbles to himself as he goes about his day. He is old, fat and unkempt. He spends most of his time traveling to far-away cities, looking through old libraries and temples for bits and pieces of spells. He is convinced that he can unlock the secrets of the spell creators. Although he himself knows a fortune’s worth of spells, he considers them of little value and sells them to anyone with the coin he needs to keep up his research. He cares not for good nor evil and is capable of both in great extremes, provided they further his quest.

Prince Johann (Level 4) wanted to be a mage since his nanny first tried to frighten him with stories of mages who turn bad little princes into newts. He killed an outcast mage girl for her spells, after making her teach him the First Spell at knifepoint. He pays top dollar for spells and kills any seller he deems weaker than himself. This expensive habit could not be hidden from his father’s bookkeepers, so he has incurred considerable personal debt in pursuit of his hobby. He has considered going on the road to seek out new spells and new treasures, hoping to either pay back or kill his debtors.

Leo (Ex-Cleric level 5, now a Mage level 2) was the Abbot of the Swan Abbey. He had sent a Knight of the Sun on a quest to bring him a scroll that, according to Leo’s interpretation of scripture, outlined the long lost vigil prayer Raise Dead. Leo was close, but wrong on one crucial detail. The scroll contained the First Spell, followed by an arcane spell which animated the bodies of the abbey’s long-dead abbots. After those monsters killed all Leo’s brothers and burned down the monastery, Leo was, to say the least, a changed man with a crisis of faith. He is now quite mad, and knowing no other spells, casts animate dead almost daily, hoping to resurect his lost monks. (Yes, he isn’t high enough level to cast it normally. Who cares? He’s an NPC.)

Posted in: content, NPC / Tagged: classes, magic-users, npc, rethinking