Monthly Archives: August 2010

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Rethinking Elves

I was thinking about this, from the LotFP Weird Fantasy:

Once the epitome of enlightenment and responsibility, elfin civilization has fallen before the expansive nature of Man. Where once the Elf nations ruled the forests, the plains and the mountains, their now-small numbers live in secret enclaves, possessing great power but utterly impotent in matters of projecting it.

Bjork

Bjork. Photo by deep_schismic cc-by 2.0

There’s going to be some elves that don’t accept this at all. After all, being impotent in matters of projecting power is not the same as giving up without a fight. What can we do with that to make elves more interesting?

The essential qualities that fantasy elves have almost universally: Beauty, Magic and Agelessness. Add impotence to that and you’ve got some interesting options. Let’s assume you don’t have a western continent for them to sail to.

Elfin survivalists would recognize the need to repopulate in the face of ever-growing numbers of humans. That faction might capture and study human’s reproductive cycles. They might perform experiments on their own kind. They might go out on a pilgrimage to find a human fertility goddess to take them in. They might try to breed with humans to create half-elves that can breed true with one another. Or make a pact with a demon or devil (no spider-queens, please).

Perhaps they aren’t even full elves themselves. Perhaps they were always half-elves and their original stock died out/is in hibernation on their crashed space ship awaiting rescue/are their mortal enemies. Maybe their original stock are neanderthalish elves.

What if they can reproduce, but their cycles are much slower or they just aren’t in the mood often enough? They’ll need aphrodisiacs, potency vitamins, maybe some Barry White albums. They might need a chamber where time is sped up. Maybe they are bored with their own beautiful perfection and need imperfections such as scars or broken noses to catch each other’s eye.

What if they don’t understand some aspect of their reproduction that they never noticed before (since it happens so infrequently)? What if outside temperature during gestation determined gender? What if the entire race was blessed with a birth control spell or worshipped an idol that was radioactive? What if elfin magic swords gave off sperm-killing cell-phone radiation?

And what if they did manage to get preggers again? What would happen to an elf nation that had a one million percent jump in annual birth rate? They probably have no idea how to educate or care for their young. They might have long ago forgotten how to pass along any sort of knowledge whatsoever and need to apprentice their children to human mages.

What if they are stuck at a fixed number of elf spirits that reincarnate into baby elves? Where could they find more spirits? What if other spirits started incarnating in the baby elves? What if elf spirits are reincarnating into dwarves, halflings or meercats? Maybe they need to go out and kill dwarves, halflings and meercats to free up those spirits during the semi-annual fertility festival.

What if all this was happening at once in different parts of your campaign world?

I might just find elves interesting again.

More later this week.

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Reverse Clerics 4: The Self-worshipping Goddess

If you want something done right, do it yourself. The goddess Pallas is the high priestess of… Pallas.

She incarnates as a baby girl and manages to arrange circumstances for her to be raised within or by her own church. She sees firsthand what sort of clergy she has, how devout her congregations are. Pallas herself becomes a priestess, rises through the ranks and becomes her own high priestess. Shen she dies, a new high priestess comes to power while the goddess is born into a new avatar baby girl. She has lead her church though wars, pogroms, an exodus, revivals and golden ages.

No one in her church is aware of this.

In campaigns where gods are as powerful as their worshippers’ belief makes them, she is quite successful. In campaigns where this does not matter, she’s just looking for something to do. Or perhaps her access to the god realms has been blocked.

Would she ever be incarnated as a PC Cleric or Warrior and not know it consciously? Aw, heck no. Please. Your player would be insufferable.

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What’s in the Bag? 2: Electric Boogaloo

A mule wanders down a mountain trail alone, walking away from a known adventure location and toward town. What’s in its saddlebag?

1- The severed heads of a dwarf, elf and halfling. Each wears an earring, shaped like an owl.

2- A bag of 1,000 gold pieces. Three hours after they are spent or given to someone, they will vanish.

3- A bag of orange moss that cures disease when eaten. It also turns the eater bright orange for two weeks.

4- The chicken can talk, but it has only a chicken’s experience from which to draw. It can grant a minor wish, but the wish must be related in terms a chicken can understand, and will be granted in light of how a chicken sees the world.

5- A map leading to a library of inaccurate maps. Also, enough golden rings for all but one of the party members.

6- A large and ridiculous hat, folded and carefully tucked into the bag. When worn into any town or city, the residents will immediately make their own hats after the same fashion. This hat trend will last for one week after which the townspeople will angrily reject the hat trend and resent the original wearer (even if he or she has abandoned the hat as well).

7- Two small nuggets of adamantine (or mithril) ore. There are no adamantine deposits within a thousand miles, however.

8 – A brass horn, which can be played expertly by anyone who attempts to use it.

9- Seven ancient scrolls which contradict and in fact disprove the area’s prevailing faith. They cannot be destroyed by less than magical means by a 9th level or higher spellcaster.

10 – The battle flag of an ancient, long-gone empire. Within 2d12 days, 100 skeletal warriors will come to claim it.

11 – A Wandering Monster. That is, a monster from the random encounter table of the last adventure. It will climb out of the bag and if not attacked, will wander off.

12- Snakes… Why did it have to be snakes? (3d20)

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Create Familiar – A B/X Spell

What if familiars weren’t joined to mages but came from them instead? With this spell, the caster coughs up a familiar that is far more loyal than a rabbit, but at a much greater risk than the familiar spell I posted before. This is the “weirdness turned to 11″ version for WFRP, but you can of course use it in any retroclone.

Spawn Familiar

Level 2, M-U

Duration: Up to 1 day/level of caster

The chaotic forces a mage channels when casting spells make his body more pliable to his whims. When he casts this spell, various parts of his insides are sculpted by chaos into a small creature that separates from the body by budding or exiting it (your campaign’s tone can decide where). The caster may choose to donate a spell slot and spell that will “go” with the familiar and can be cast by it at his level.

The familiar will have the general shape and texture of one of the animal/organ pairs on the table below. This does not mean the mage is without any of the organ used–some of it has just been borrowed. The familiar has eyes, ears, mouth and so forth.

The creature has 1d3+1 hit points, which are subtracted from the caster’s total. Its saving throws are at the caster’s level. It can understand any orders given and knows the locations, people and things the caster has knowledge of. It can speak any language the caster knows and can read. It cannot communicate with the caster from afar, as more standard familiars can.

As mentioned above, the familiar can cast one spell if a slot if given it at the time of creation. Once it has cast its spell, it can put another spell of equal or lower level in that spot, provided the caster (or another mage) reads to it from a spell book or scroll. It can manipulate small objects and “carry” up to five pounds. It can write and imbibe potions. While it is away, the DM is in control of its actions and fate, although it will under no circumstances betray or abandon its master. When its mission is accomplished, or when the spell duration is almost up, it will rejoin the caster, who will get his hit points and spell slot back, and remember everything the familiar experienced as if it happened to him.

If the familiar is killed, the hit points the mage invested in it are lost. The spell slot can be recovered by the caster if he can find and eat the familiar’s corpse. If the familiar is unable to make it back to the caster in time, or is abandoned, it will stalk the caster and attempt to kill him. If it succeeds, or the caster dies for other reasons before it returns, the familiar will then eat the corpse and grow a full body (with its own twisted mind).

Mages 6th level and higher can control which creature results from the spell. If the spell is cast again before the first spell ends, or the familiar is lost, then the same familiar cannot be made.

Creature/Source Organs (roll 1d6)

  1. Frog-like – kidney
  2. Snake-like – intestine
  3. Spider-like – arteries, veins and part of the heart
  4. Bat-like – fatty tissue wings and muscle body
  5. Lungfish-like – lung
  6. Crab-like – bone
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Bind Familiar Spell for B/X and Retroclones

A familiar spell for LLS&WLotFP:WFRP / Basic & Expert D&D…

California Condor U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service

Bind Familiar

Level 1 M-U

Duration: Permanent

This is used to bind a creature to the caster. No creature will be bound willingly by this spell, for even the most domesticated animals will be afraid.

The kinds of creatures allowed will vary by campaign. What is important is to remember that the higher the HD of the creature, the more difficult it will be to keep bound.

Once a type of animal is agreed upon by both player and GM, a gift to the targeted creature must be made. The more exotic, wild or magical the creature is, the more costly and rare the tribute. Once the creature has been lured into the caster’s proximity, the spell is cast.

The targeted creature is allowed a saving throw, adjusted at +1 or -1 for each level/HD of difference between the HD of the creature and the caster. Thus, a 1HD Toothsome Bunny would be at a -3 save vs. spells against a level 4 mage. The HD of the creature is adjusted upward by one for each special attack or spell-like ability the creature has. If the creature saves, it immediately attacks the caster or runs.

If the creature fails its save, it is bound to the caster. The caster permanently sacrifices 2 HP for each HD of the familiar. These HP are permanently added to the new familiar’s total. Familiars take on some of their master’s personality and a bit of their intelligence, so they gain +2 to saving throws and will generally not be caught or harmed due to general animal ignorance.

A familiar can perform small tasks, such as carrying written messages, guarding spellbooks or “retrieving” items from other players. It can whisper information to its master and can be given simple commands, including commands to go places where its master has been or find people he knows.

It can telepathically send along what it sees, hears and smells and hears from up to 200 feet distant. Its master must concentrate to receive the message. It cannot receive telepathic commands or impressions.

Some familiars are willing to engage in combat, particularly wilder animals. When attacking much larger/powerful enemies, they must pass a loyalty check (see below).

No matter their intelligence, familiars can be trained to perform  tricks beyond what others of their species can learn.

Small familiars may be kept in the sleeves of a robe or under a hat. Others might require a cage or to be allowed to roam or fly freely.

If a familiar somehow ends up in combat against its master, it gets +4 to hit and does double damage.

Loyalty Check

Once per week, and in certain situations, familiars will make a loyalty check.  2d6 is rolled and modifiers are added or subtracted. The following table is then consulted.

Loyalty Check Result:

12+   The familiar is fanatically loyal (or powerfully bound) and would follow its master to the end of the world. Add +1 on next loyalty check.

10-11  Familiar is quite happy with (or resigned to) the relationship and will willingly do what it can, short of self-sacrifice.

7-9  Familiar is well-disposed toward (or afraid of) its master.

5-6   Familiar will do what it is told, although it may be stubborn or ornery about it.

3-4  Familiar is unwilling to do as told, but if threatened, will comply (although the job might not be thorough).

2  Familiar has disappeared for a week (at least). -1 to next loyalty Check

Below 2 Familiar will attempt to betray its master, get him killed or otherwise break free of magical bond (Choose one, make a saving throw vs. spells, no modifiers). Penalty of -2 on next loyalty check.

Familiars are best kept loyal through humane treatment and/or disciplined treatment. But because of the power of the binding spell, they are more easily swayed into loyalty by improved or more disciplined treatment.

A lap cat or a well-trained hellhound are equally loyal. Likewise, an animal kept in fear might remain loyal to a point. Level difference and other modifiers make the most difference.

The DM should of course determine which modifiers apply in each case and even which animals are effected by which sort of treatment. A cat, for example, might respond well to indulgence, whereas a horse might not.

Loyalty Roll modifiers

For Casters level – Familiar’s HD: + or – 1/2

Daily Training: +3

Stern but humane treatment: +3

Affectionate Treatment: +3

Inhumane or Cruel Treatment: -2

Well-fed by hand: +2

Given freedom to hunt and roam: +1

Per HP Damage taken in combat: -1/2

Per combat where familiar is attacked but not hit: -1

For each other familiar master has: -3

Per month left behind or with someone else: -1

Per day in extremely hostile climate or environment: -1

Per year with master: +1

This something I’m throwing out there for comment. I have no idea when I’ll be able to test it in a campaign. Probably 2011…

[Note: edited for typo and clarity.]

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Minor Artifact – Emerald Decanter of the Addled Gods

In response to Jeff’s Gameblog:

Emerald Decanter of the Addled Gods

This slim, tall, green decanter is occasionally dropped from the heavens by trickster spirits or bored divine beings. While immensely useful, it does disrupt party cohesion.

Because of its sturdy construction, divinely inspired shape and breathtaking beauty, it is useful to almost anyone. It immediately casts a charm spell on anyone nearby when it is discovered.

Why is it so popular?

Fighters: Does 1d4 blunt damage

Magic Users: It holds 18 oz of any liquid

Thieves/Specialists: Can be used to magnify solar rays and burn through locks

Clerics: Any water placed in it and prayed over is transformed into holy water.

Bards: Blowing across its opening makes a marvelous whistling sound.

Elves: Allows them to meditate on the long-lost beauty of their homelands.

Dwarves: Inspires construction of a great tower.

Halflings: Look! It’s shiny!

It also has these effects:

1 x I ___
1 x II ___
1 x IV ___

Once accepted into a party, it cannot be disposed of, except on completion of a quest to dispose of it, which will be revealed to a random party member (who must then lead the party). This artifact was borrowed, not stolen :-)

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Minor Artifact – The Butler Did It

In response to Jeff’s Gameblog:

Freamon’s Magic Butler

The party has found a three-foot wood-and-metal figure with human proportions, a porcelain face and the dapper clothes of a city gentleman. Under its clothing, on its chest is a silver plate with an inscription:

Presented with great humility and devotion.

Your Eminence asked if I could, and finally I have.

All it takes is a little magic.

Yr. Most obedient servant,

Freamon, Vulture Peak, 237

When found, this figure will be a simple large doll. Once in the presence of any magic items for an hour or more, it will activate. The first living sentient creature to touch it becomes its master. Unbidden, it will tirelessly sew, sharpen, repair, cook, polish, pack and perform other minor tasks for its master. If handed an object weighing less than 5 pounds, it will hold or carry it (this includes torches). It cannot communicate, but can follow minor orders having to do with its duties. It will not disarm a trap, move ahead of the party or perform any action the PC’s should be doing themselves. It simply will not understand such requests.

The figure is powered by nearby magical items, which it drains of magic over time. For shorter adventures, it should probably drain a random magic item of its master or a companion at the rate of +1 per day (a +2 sword becoming a +1 sword overnight, for example) or one spell disappearing from a scroll. For longer campaigns, this can be extended to a week. The DM should choose a rate of magic drainage that will cause some frustration without immediately giving away the source of the problem. Items nearest the butler are drained first. Items in the surrounding environs are drained last. If no magic is present, the butler powers down and is reset. When it is back in the presence of magic items, it might find a different master.

The butler will also invoke the following powers on behalf of its master, whether bidden or not. The DM will need to decide how that works and how obvious it is to the player. These powers should drain additional magic from nearby items.

1 x I ___
1 x II ___
1 x IV ___

Note: for the life of me, something is telling me that there’s already an artifact like this somewhere in AD&D 1e. I’ve googled the heck out of it. If you know of something really similar to this, post a comment so I can revise it.

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Awesome Holy Symbol at the Met

This copper-alloy example represents a male figure dressed in a short kilt and mountain boots with upturned toes. If his horned headdress is similar in meaning to examples found in Mesopotamia and Iran, the figure may be divine. The arrow-shaped forms emerging from his shoulders and under his arm may represent snakes or lightning bolts.

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Baubles of Doom 1 – The Queen of Assassins

If your campaign world has chess (and it should be or how are you going to put the obligatory chess puzzle in your mad wizard’s tower) then why not use this little piece?

Chess is a popular game among the nobility and the educated classes. The game is played slightly differently in different regions, but it’s mostly the same everywhere. An interesting innovation of unknown origin has been making the rounds. It’s called a “queen” and it replaces the “general,” a fairly useless piece.

These queens are enthusiastically introduced to players by traveling scholars, merchants and diplomats from a nation to the south.  Their Queen is a co-ruler with her husband, which is quite scandalous up north. She has had chess sets with queens made to be given to royals, bishops, wizards and professors. Her agents visit, present the gift and explain how the new piece works. It is being adopted eagerly, and it improves (and shortens the playing time of) the game.

Each of these black queens is a tiny stone golem that will respond to a specific phrase. If the phrase is said during a game, that night the piece will animate into a small stone golem and kill the set’s owner, family and any witnesses. This phrase could be said by anyone, even someone who is not playing but is nearby.

Each of the white queens magically transmits any sound it hears during a game to a clairaudient in the Queen’s employ.

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What’s in the Wizard’s Mug?

He is nowhere to be found, but the cup on his table still steams. Mmmm smells good! Just a sip…

1d8

1- A potent shrinking potion. You are now swimming in the cup alongside a drenched wizard.

2- Hot Green Slime. That’s what you get for mooching.

3- Vampire Blood. Just kidding! Tomato juice!

4- Potion of Charm. Fall in charm with a random companion. No save.

5- Dragon’s Urine. You may spit fire ten feet for 1d4 damage once per round in addition to your normal attack. Lasts two hours. Don’t ask what happens later.

6- Tomato Juice. Fooled you! Vampire blood!

7- Tiny Water Elemental. You will feel dizzy and out of sorts until it passes in 5 hours. -1 to hit.

8- Damn Good Coffee! Add 1 to all initiative rolls for the next 3 hours. Subtract 1 from all initiative rolls after that until sleep or more Damn Good Coffee!

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