Tag Archives: Bring It

Twenty Locations in Town x2

Elson said:

20 locations in town that will tempt the players into visiting them.

Elson, I have a table below with 20 locations for a high-magic, more metropolitan setting and one for a low-magic setting. I hope this is not too late.

Roll 1d20 High Magic Low Magic
1 Gnomish Flea Market Flea Market
2 The Pot and Potion (Potion Bar) Pot and Potion (ineffective alchemist)
3 Van Daryn’s Portraits (Specializes in Adventure Scenes) Van Daryn’s Portraits (Specializes in Adventure Scenes)
4 Library of Secrets Library of Secrets
5 Oozing Downs (Green Slime Race Track) Spider Races (in alley)
6 Von Patter’s Lab (Spell R&D and Firing Range) Archery Contest
7 Glowing Park The Countess’ Solarium (A Greenhouse)
8 Church of the Saucy Goddess Brothel (reputed to be clean)
9 The Slave Market Slave Market
10 The Gallows Yard Gallows
11 The Assasin’s Guild Games Manhood Trials
12 Ghost Casino Gambling Club
13 Bird Market Dog Market
14 Tunnel of Wailing Windmill
15 Carnivale Square Dance
16 Siren Opera Outdoor Concert
17 Mermaid Wharf Fish Market (contraband sold here)
18 Hall of Monstrous Mirrors Glass Maker Fair
19 Society of Exhibited Magicks Pilgrimage Site
20 Wax Museum Statue Garden
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Eight Steam-Powered Contraptions

Ravas S on said:

8 steam-powered clockwork monsters OR traps OR vehicles, all of which have some chance of failure/explosion…

Ravas: I am not assigning HD or damage levels to these so you can adapt them to the level of your party as you see fit.

Pile of Gears

Every lab has a pile of broken or miscast pieces waiting for meltdown. This pile is a cleverly disguised security mechanism powered by a small steam engine. It can assume a number of shapes and can disguise itself as part of any equipment or projects in the lab. It attacks with small steam blasts (which drain 10 percent of its HP for 1 hour), slashes with gears, choking tubes and various and sundry pointy bits (piercing attacks). Any natural 20 hit or piercing attack that does more than 10 HP damage has a chance of piercing its engine, which would then release a cloud of choking steam in the room (save vs. breath weapon or take some grievous burning damage).

Hydraulic Ballista

A ballista on a cart that is powered by adding coal or wood to its boiler and which can be moved or driven by a single person. There is metal shielding in front of the driver’s position with a slit for viewing forward. The ballista reloads itself (there is room for three bolts) and has twice the range of a normal ballista. At short range, it deals double damage. There is a remote firing mechanism connected to the ballista via a tether. There is a 15 percent chance per shot of a catastrophic explosion that should kill nearly any driver in the driver’s seat. There is a 2 percent chance per turn of driving of such an explosion.

Lava Suit

A bulky suit of armor with some soft material around it and a looking-glass helmet is tethered by a four-inch hose to a cart-sized box on wheels. When the boiler in the box is filled and the contraption activated, the box pumps various refrigerants through the hose and the suit. This allows the occupant to withstand conditions of extreme heat and in fact submerge in molten lava for up to ten minutes. Should the suit, hose or contraption be damaged, the heat in the suit would rise to the same as its environment in thirty seconds. There is a five percent this will happen in any minute of use.

Hydraulic Ram

This is a steam-powered siege engine for taking down doors and even walls during siege of a fortress. A long metal rod extends five feet out of the machine and four times the damage of a typical battering ram and ignores most enchantments and other means of reinforcing a wall. It must be recharged for two hours per use and when activated has a thirty percent chance of exploding, dealing d100x2 HP damage to anyone within 100 yards not behind a wall or other strong barrier.

Death’s Pinwheel

A disk on the end of an axle is attached to an engine. When activated, the disk spins and extends 20 cables. On the end of each cable is a spinning circular blade. Anyone passing through the radius of the trap must save or be cut to shreds. Those who save take 1d20 damage. To keep this from being a complete FU trap, there’s a 10 percent chance of malfunction after five minutes and a 10 percent chance of malfunction per victim damaged. This trap runs out of steam after three hours.

Pogocart

A three-seat cabin is perched over a large hydraulic leg. Steam and hydraulic power enable this vehicle to to leap 300 feet vertically and up to 200 feet horizontally every ten seconds. In the cabin is a set of horse reins attached to a contraption with many gears and three spinning gyroscopes. The contraption allows the user to control the speed, altitude and direction of each jump.  The driver must make dexterity checks or lose control. The gyroscopes can correct this 75 percent of the time, in which case the cart travels in a random direction (roll d8 and use 8 points of compass). Otherwise, the whole thing crashes. Did the PC’s notice the seatbelts?

Magic Battery

Wands, rods, rings and other small, charged magic items are placed in a canister. There is a – and a + button on a control panel. When the either button is pushed, the canister begins to spin. Concentric rings are lowered from above until they surround the canister. After about five minutes, the rings are raised and the canister stops rotating. If the – button was pressed, the items are drained of magic charges. The charges are stored in a battery in the machine. If there are charges in the battery already, and the + button was pushed, the charges available were evenly distributed to the items in the canister. If there are no charges and the + button was pushed, nothing happens. If there are no items in the canister and either button was pushed, the contraption still cycles but nothing happens.

There is a 40 percent chance the canister spins two slow or too fast, as this machine has not been maintained well. If that happens, the wand, staff, rod or ring will malfunction, doing something suitably ridiculous such as turning the wielder’s arm into a large daffodil or summon five squirrels. A thief, gnome or specialist might be able to calibrate the canister if she checks the machine for problems. Roll an appropriate skill check. The machine is powered by a small coal-burning boiler.

Clockwork Dancing Troupe

This set of human-sized automatons are connected via pneumatic hoses to a central contraption with a steam engine and a difference engine and a panel with many switches. The switches choreograph the automatons, which will perform a dance that has been programmed into the difference engine. A small steam powered organ uses the exhaust steam from the steam engine to play music according to what is punched into a roll of paper that spins through gears inside the machine.

The automatons have a STR of 20 and conceal weapons inside their bodies, which would be difficult to detect. They can be programmed to kill at certain points in the song or when a certain number of people are in the room. There is a 20 percent chance each time the contraption is activated that it will develop its own intelligence, in which case it might follow programming instructions while it plans. Eventually it will attempt to kill or evade its ‘owner’ and escape. The difficult point is figuring out how to get away with the contraption.

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A Dwarf Says What?

How about a d30 table of mistranslations of dwarven proverbs?

What is it with you d30 people? It’s an ugly die. I don’t like the d10 either, since it’s not a real Pythagorean solid. It’s cheating, I tell you!

Notes on the table below: As you can see, humans mistrust dwarves. They half expect them to take their women and eat their children as soon as the men turn their backs.

Some of the mistranslations or misunderstandings have lead to tragic results. General Border, for instance, is a sort of General Custer figure who couldn’t be bothered to hire a good translator when he marched on the Foggy Mountains.

Some of this also stems from the early translations of Dwarven literature and colloquialisms, which were done by shy monks of the north. Dwarves were, at the time, a virile race with a ribald tongue.

In the end, even as dwarves decline, the symbiosis between the two races (the exchange of meat and ale for steel) rules the day. In places where the two races interact, these stereotypes are not taken so seriously and are in fact fodder for jokes between the two races.

Proper Translation of Dwarfish Proverb Mistaken Translation or Interpretation  Commonly Repeated Amongst Men
1 God’s Balls! [an oath] God’s Beard!
2 The most beautiful dwarfess is the one with [this dwarf's] beard tickling her face. A dwarfess is most beautiful when she has a beard on her face. [Leading to the common human belief about Dwarfesses and facial hair.]
3 Don’t make deals with sheepf—-rs. Never negotiate with humans. [This mistranslation comes from an early nickname dwarfs had for humans. This has also lead many to believe that dwarfs cannot be negotiated with.]
4 The worst day comes from elfish breakfast, human work, hobbit song and orcish supper. Followed by any of their sexual practices. [Note: the words for meals, such as supper and breakfast imply heavy drinking of ale as well.] I wouldn’t eat with an elf, work for a human, sing with a hobbit, or dine with an orc–unless they did me sexual favors.
5 The best day comes from hobbit breakfast, dwarfish work, dwarven song and hobbit supper. Screw the tall folk. [Note: the words for meals, such as supper and breakfast imply heavy drinking of ale as well.] The best way to live is to eat hobbits, work hard and screw the other races.
6 A sharp axe can only come from a strong hammer. You can make an axe by hitting a hammer hard enough.
7 A penny saved is still only a damn penny. A dwarfess can be bought with a penny found on the road. [This one was probably intentional and malicious.]
8 If you dig under a small hill, you will find small gold. And worms. Small hills hide golden worms.
9 If a dragon dares take your gold, every last dwarf has a duty to kill him. We dare any dragon to try to kill us and take our gold. [Very tragic, this one.]
10 The sun neither rises nor sets on our halls. We care not for the clocks of humans. The sun neither rises nor sets on our halls. We care nothing of the fates of mankind.
11 We are not the fathers of the burnt men of the earth’s skin, but we are their elder brothers. We burned the fathers of the men until their skins crisped. We shall burn that brotherhood again.
12 A dwarf cannot measure his day except by the cups of sweat from his brow. No mistranslation, but it many accept as fact that dwarfs save and measure their sweat, perhaps mixing it with ale. Thus the human terms ‘sweatybeards’ and ‘sweatdrinkers’.
13 Every man must dig his own tunnel. [Meaning: in life.] According to his last journal entry, General Border took this to mean that dwarves do not band together during adversity, but dig a tunnel to escape.
14 To move the earth, work hard and work near its center. [Those who work under the earth--dwarves--make a bigger impact.] To move the earth, dig toward the center. [Misinterpretation: We are going to dig until we reach the center of the earth.]
15 Bats, moths and blind fish have learned to live under mountains as you have. [All are revered or worshipped, although sometimes eaten or sacrificed as well]. A human saying goes: Dwarves are stuck under the mountains with only bats, moths and blind fish to eat. [Without us, they would have no meat.]
16 Gold so pure it shines in the dark. [Meaning something is profound or very pure.] Rumors of dwarven ‘dark gold’ abound.
17 With long legs come good, red meat. [Meaning: We must remember that humans play an important role in our lives--they raise cattle.] Belief that dwarves have a taste for human flesh.
18 A clear nose smells all farts. [Warning against clearing a nostril in another's presence, which is a sign of condescension and pride.] Clear your nose so that you may better smell our farts.
19 Don’t tell any tall folk about mithril. [Meaning don't tell younger races what they don't have the wisdom to handle.] Widespread belief that under every rainbow is a dwarf with a shield of pure mithril.
20 Elves came from outside this world [meaning: planet or plane]. Elves came to visit our ancestors from outside this world [mistaken meaning: underground]. Recent scholarship shows that this was never a proverb, but was meant to be taken literally. Nonetheless, modern dwarves believe the same misinterpretation humans do.
21 When an elf screws an orc? A human. An unkind comment on general appearances has been misinterpreted by those with esoteric beliefs regarding the origins of humanity.
22 Elf Balls! [an oath meaning useless] Elf Beard! This is also a dwarven oath meaning something that cannot exist. This is substituted by prudish translators.
23 A hobbit tunnel to a dwarven hall. [Making a grand result with plain materials.] A hobbit tunnel to a dwarven hall. [Making a big deal out of something trivial. Also convinces some that the two races are in cahoots.]
24 Grass won’t grow in the dark. [Meaning human customs don't make sense below.] Lead to the belief that dwarves have no body hair under their kilts.
25 Brandishing a rapier in a mine. [Wasting time doing something the fancy way such as using a pointy weapon in the dark when a slashing weapon would do.] Brandishing a rapier in a mine. [This is a good weapon underground. General Border also believed this.]
26 Teats of the Earth. [A metaphor for mountains.] Humans believe this refers to a specific mountain range full of precious gold and mithril that the dwarves refuse to tell anyone about.
27 A tunnel filled in. [The past is left in the past. Meaning something is forgiven if not forgotten.] A tunnel filled in. [Meaning revenge has been taken and the bodies hidden.]
28 To f— a human. [Meaning to achieve something impressive.] Humans have known all along that these little perverts are after their women.
29 A human brother. [A human little person. Often welcomed among dwarves.] Humans of this time and setting believe that small adult humans come from #28. The usual medieval prejudice applies.
30 To serve man. [In this age of dwarven decline, some believe that helping the younger races get on their feet is their calling.] To serve man. [For dinner]

 

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30 Curses for Cupcakes

Danny Peck  said:

I’m a greedy bastard, Santa, and I desire at least a d30 table of fantasy curses that may have been thought up by entities in a ‘traditional fantasy setting’ but are hopefully bizarre and interesting. I’m attempting a project for a group of players that is very unsatisfied with “death” in tabletop RPGs, and so, I’m seeking alternative temporary conditions where ideally the character is still under the control of the player.

Unsatisfied with “death” in tabletop RPGs? They need to walk it off, pick up the dice and create a new character. But you’re the GM and I did take requests.

Here’s 30 curses for your party of cupcakes.

  1. Go with the Flow: All bones are dissolved. The character is now basically a sack of liquid and must be carried in a bucket. DM should decide whether spells can be cast, but carrying and holding on to things should be difficult. Clever players will find a few advantages in this.
  2. Honeytrap: Character now attracts insects, which will crawl or fly around him constantly. Sometimes they will land, sometimes they fight one another, but they give no thought to their own safety. The swarm will grow without end if the curse is not undone. This also works well with rats, snakes, earthworms, children…
  3. Freaky Furday: Mindswap with small animal.
  4. Undeath: Character is now a zombie with his mind intact. Penalties to reflexes and speed, rotting, body parts falling off, subject to turning, etc.
  5. Pariah: Charisma score of 3. No NPC will trust the PC. Terrible reaction rolls. No one likes the party. I don’t like you either. You just watch yourself…
  6. WTF: Character has been polymorphed into a helpless creature of some sort. A two foot butterfly  or a giant sea cucumber with a human face.
  7. Stench: Cursed with a distinctive unpleasant smell. Anything with a nose will not be surprised by the character. Reaction and charisma rolls are penalized. Nearby spellcasters have a 15 percent chance of spell failure due to distraction.
  8. Listlessness: Unable to adventure or function more than 3 hours per day.
  9. Degeneration: Lose 1 point in 3 ability scores every day.
  10. Rebirth: Every three days, the character’s body rots for eight hours. Then the character molts the corpse and crawls out at 1/2 size (level, HP, STR, CON, whatever).
  11. Glue: Character goes last every round. -3 DEX.
  12. Reverse Midas: All precious metals, iron and steel in vicinity of character turn to lead in a matter of hours.
  13. Mistaken: Character hears noises and is sure that something is approaching. Is correct 1 in 6 times. When correct, monsters encountered have maximum HP and do maximum damage.
  14. Betrayal: Character is unable to keep commitments, contracts and oaths.
  15. Walk Like and Egyptian: Character’s head turns into that of random animal: 1- Parakeet, 2- Dog, 3- Cat, 4- Pig, 5-Ass (Puck that!), 6- Crocodile, 7- Lion, 8- Jackal, 9- Snake, 10- Giraffe, complete with long neck. Only the parakeet can talk.
  16. Short Attention Span: Character cannot remember who is an ally, who is an enemy and whom she attacked last round. Also: what spells are already cast and what items are spent. If player hedges, consider making random rolls.
  17. Kill Everything Twice, Everything Twice: The character (and only the character) is plagued by ghosts. Whenever the party kills a creature or person, the ghost of that spirit or person attacks the character. This ghost is exactly like the deceased would be at full strength and hit points (with any special abilities restored to a minimum of one charge). No one else can see or interact with this ghost unless under the same curse. This does not apply to undead (although you could have it reverse and they are restored to life and attack the character).
  18. Charmed, I’m Sure: Character can be commanded by anyone to do almost anything as if charmed.
  19. Clang! Pow! Bash!: Character makes a tremendous amount of noise doing anything (even sleeping).
  20. Shrinky: Character is about four inches tall. (DM decides if belongings also shrink).
  21. Hulk Out: Character is now about twelve feet tall. Belongings do not grow and may be destroyed by growth.
  22. Candidate: Everything the character says will be deemed a lie by any NPC and PC’s who fail wisdom check. (Even when character is telling the truth).
  23. Most Wanted: Character is wanted for unspecified crimes in every kingdom, village and town within five hundred miles. Posters are posted everywhere.
  24. Pet: Ask the character what the most useless animal is. He is polymorphed into that animal.
  25. Squeamish: Character faints at the sight of blood (or grievous injury or death).
  26. All Together:  Arms, legs and head detatch from torso spontaneously. Each can move independently as controlled by the player.
  27. Satisfied: Character will refuse any share of the party treasure (and in OSR games, this means no XP).
  28. Tongue Twisted: Character can only speak in the language of the race/enemy most detested by the public (unless he is already that race). It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t know that language. He can only understand the languages he normally does (and cannot understand that detested language unless he normally does).
  29. Ophelia: Will attempt to drown self at any well, pool, pond, lake, stream, river or ocean.
  30. Protector: Will attempt to save any party member or non-hostile NPC by putting self in harm’s way, even foolishly (especially foolishly).

There you have it. It was a stretch, and some of these are not so weird, but really there’s only so much you can do to a character before you’re just being a jerk.

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Ten Temples

John on  said:

If we’re allowed to make more than one request, I find myself in need of a bunch of weird-ass temples for the city I’m building. Ten of them, say. But only if you run out of suggestions; I wouldn’t want to be prioritised over someone who hasn’t made a request yet.

Temple of the Swarm

Billions of insects, centipedes, spiders and other crawling creatures carpet a large pit in the center of this temple. Supplicants make a donation and are given one of the insects, which they may take home, set free or even burn to make a wish. Worshippers may also sacrifice themselves to the swarm in order to purify bad deeds, end personal suffering or show devotion.

Temple of Boros

Worshippers are dropped into random points in this large, multi-storied maze. Those who make it out must have been blessed by the gods. Others are likely dead at the hands of monsters, traps and other men and women who have found a way to live there.

Temple of Dedication (Cult of Owrox)

Families who make deals with the cult of Owrox sometimes offer lifetime servitude of children or grandchildren in exchange for the release of souls the god has captured. In order to ensure a contract is honored, these young slaves are sent here to commune with the captive souls of their ancestors. There are over a hundred small alcoves throughout the temple where crystal balls can be ‘attuned’ to a specific soul. For most, merely speaking with the departed is enough to scare them into being faithful. Some of the kinder imprisoned souls manage to establish warm relations with their living kin. Others browbeat their descendants. In all cases, the servant must touch the crystal ball and ‘feel’ the helplessness and doom the captured spirit feels. This is the existence the contract breaker faces if the terms are not fulfilled. This is why Owrox has few defectors.

Temple of Batrubis

This temple is home to a 50 foot giant, who sits on a throne. Because he has magical talents that can be performed at will, and because he’s, well, a fifty foot giant who says he’s a god, he is worshipped as a living deity. Believers take great pride in the fact that their god, unlike others, can be seen and worshipped in person.

Temple of the Golden Bliss

A thousand monastics have found paradise here. They sit surrounding a golden ball of light and experience life in a perfect place. Their bodily functions slow to almost nothing, so that they may sit for days at a time. In their minds, this prayer/meditation takes them to a place of perfection. Corpses of those who die in this state are carried out by acolytes who hope to take their place someday. Unknown to the cult: The ball of light is an elemental from a positive energy plane. It has mass ESP and can cast flawless telepathic illusions. It feeds on the misdirected spiritual energy in its presence.

The Temple of Graves

The graves in this temple are smashed icons, idols and other religious artifacts. The acolytes here accept these for any reason whatsoever. Some are brought by those who have lost faith. Others are captured in foreign lands and are brought here by returning travelers and soldiers who want to dispose of the objects but fear supernatural reprisals. Some of the smashed artifacts are still quite valuable and possibly quite cursed. While presented to outsiders as a service, this temple is run by mages, who, being chaotic, seek to reduce the influence of gods in the world.

The Sunken Temple

The Sea God does not send major storms or red tides to the Island of Siros so long as his temple is packed with worshippers. When an earthquake sent part of the island into the sea a thousand years past, the temple was submerged. The local priesthood realized the only way to end a decade of storms that followed was to fill the temple with worshippers. Lots were drawn and the chosen drowned. Using a number of submerged air tents and caves, divers were able to chain these chosen to the pews. As these bodies decay, they must be replaced. When the supply of criminals and unwary travelers runs out, lots are chosen. Tritons and Merfolk sometimes interfere with this temple. What right have land creatures to even imagine a sea god?

Secret Temple of Yuchen-Domma

The fake temple is upstairs. It is dedicated to an obscure, harmless and minor goddess from some foreign land. The real temple is hidden below and is dedicated to Yuchen-Domma, goddess of the dirge. Members of her inner circle have quarters here.

In a cavernous inner chamber, followers and captives of her cult are wander about listlessly, singing a section of her dirge of hopelessness. This dirge functions as a protection from chaos and protection from good spell for all followers in the temple. It also delivers -5% HP per round (five percent of maximum HP, rounding up) to anyone in the chamber or areas immediately around it who is not also singing the dirge and has not plugged their ears (which only halves the effect). Anyone hearing it for more than a round will be able to join without knowing the words or the melody (no one knows the meaning). Clerics and paladins who join in will offend their patron deities greatly and must undergo a quest immediately after leaving the temple or face the wrath of their god. Mages and chaotic characters who join in will lose the ability to speak in 1-3 days (The DM should determine an appropriate cure). Elves vaguely recognize the tune but cannot remember where they might have heard it before.

Vantu’s Prison

The priests of the Confidence of Alaf have for aeons held poor Vantu prisoner. The pitiable god was captured by Alaf, companion to a great hero in epic days past. Alaf is not a god, but he, and through the ages his confidants, tortured Vantu until he granted divine powers and spells to the order.

Vantu appears as a frail, incoherent man shackled to a wall (or on rack or other torture device) in an obscure torture chamber in the basement of the temple. The temple above resembles a museum more than a temple. Tapestries, paintings and performances recount the Epic of Eidivir, inflating the role of Alaf, of course.

Cathedral of Crom’s Slumber (Eastern)

Here the Great Dreamer of the Eastern Order of the Holy Rest slumbers, stirring only every few days to eat and drink. In her sleep, she communes with the previous great sleepers who have passed to the underworld. She acts as the conduit for communication between the church and the underworld, relaying blessings, spells and status reports on events that might disturb Crom and wake him (and cause all nations and people to battle until hardly a man walks under the sun).

It is essential that no one make noise here. The floors and walls are covered with rugs and tapestries. The priests take vows of whispering and refrain from even casting silence spells   except in emergencies. If adventurers find their way in and make noise, wear boots, etc., the priests will do everything in their power to silence them first, then kill them if necessary (They are lawful neutral).

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Top 20 Bard Songs

In order to close out the 2011 ‘Bring It’ series of by-request posts, I’m going to skip around the last ones. Some of your requests require more time than others, but now that I have time to post again, I need to build up steam again.

Jukebox hero: Twelve or more songs the bards are singing this season in a tavern near you in Vornheim (or any fantasy setting).

 

  1. The King of Fools
  2. The Nun and the Centaur
  3. My Medusa’s Love
  4. A Boar in the Bed
  5. The Gnome’s Delight
  6. A Penny for a Squire
  7. Just an Old Fashioned Witch Burning
  8. The Frisky Friar
  9. The Lady and the Bear
  10. A Wolf in the Garden
  11. A Feather Between Us
  12. Escape from the Undercity
  13. A Slaver at Heart
  14. Snipe Wedding Soup
  15. Legs Go a Looking
  16. Lovely Linda Gingerlocks
  17. My Lady the Werewolf
  18. A Hobbit Sees All
  19. When Two Moons Meet
  20. Ballad of the Flame Princess

 

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Dice Drop Table: Evil Temple of Evilness

Another dice drop table, the Evil Temple of Evilness and the Great God Orsobuffo (named for the guy whose request lead to these tables). If you haven’t followed by two previous posts (here and here), this is how they work:

You print these out and lay them flat on a table. Drop some dice on the paper and interpret the results. If you already have a map, this will help you populate it. If you don’t then you can let the results guide you.

Each die should land on one or more outer or inner hexes. The inner hexes have encounters in them. If a die lands partly on one, then the encounter and its surrounding items are present in the room. If a die lands on only the outer hex, then it probably is touching more than one. I tried to design this so that the trappings in adjacent large hexes are somewhat compatible, so see if you can put whatever the die touches in the room. I’d also suggest that whatever large hex the die covers more, put the encounter in that hex in the room as well.

Unlike straight-on tables, this allows for some interpretation and that is the key–do what makes a better scenario.

Here’s an example of a temple made from this table:

 

Dice dropped on the temple table

I have some acolytes, a mummy, an anti-paladin, the temple guards and a private sacrificial alter. I also have two dice on the head priest. I’ll take this to mean there are two priests/priestesses somehow.

The Secret Temple of Orsobuffo

Crypt: The previous high priests and saints of the past are buried here. There are several dusty crypts here and a list carved in stone details the occupants. It does not mention that one of the occupants is a mummy. Also on the wall is a mural of an unholy prophecy of the return of Orsobuffo. There is a giant nest of centipedes in place of a corpse inside one crypt. There is also a scroll of binding there, which details a ritual for enslaving a creature from an outer plane.

Acolytes Quarters: Here can be found the beds, trunks, books, correspondence and prayer books of the acolytes, who can be found throughout the temple (say there are 12, total). A careful search of the trunks will also reveal the accounting books used to manage the temple and a map of the outer and inner planes, including access points. One of the acolytes is a doppelganger. You might involve it somehow in the high priest succession mentioned below.

Sleeping Quarters of the Anti-Paladin: A bedroom, and privy. Here the party can find a whenstone, unholy books (yes, again with all the unholy this and anti-that), dishes on a table with the remnants of a fine meal and a whetstone. The anti-paladin is not present.

Temple Guard Quarters: Here you will find the living quarters of the guards, including bunks, belongings, sports equipment, dice and weapons of the guards. On the tables are the remains of an ordinary meal. There is some gold in the foot lockers. The guards are on duty or otherwise not present.

There are two dice on the ‘high priest’ hex. There would not normally be two ‘high priest’ quarters unless you wanted to have this religion require two for ceremonial purposes. I will go that way and say that this cult only has twin priests. A high priest is chosen by the Orsobuffo idol from the two twin priests. The chosen then sacrifices the other on the altar. If you are a big fan of coincidence in your adventure, the party’s entry to the temple is on the night of choosing.

High Priests Quarters: This suite has been temporarily set up into two sets of living quarters. In one quarters are the thangka collection and the flute. In the other, adjoining chamber, is a private shrine and the cat (a disquised and undiscovered efreet). Both quarters have access to the vestments closet and the privy. The high priests are a rotund pair, a twin brother and sister. Both are secretly hoping to find a way to manipulate the idol into choosing them.

In the main hall is the giant statue of Orsobuffo. He appears as a fat, horned devil with jewels for eyes. This statue will animate when the prophecy on the wall is chanted a thousand times and raise either the right or left arm to indicate which of the twin priests he wants sacrificed on the altar, which is at his feet. There are many drums and gongs that are played as the chanting commences.

PC’s might mistake this as choosing the one who lives. Use that. Also in this main hall the night of choosing will be the antipaladin, the acolytes, and most of the temple guard.

There is an on-off switch that animates the statue fully, allowing it to walk. It is surrounded by a poison dart trap, which is activated by all but a few floor tiles. The priests know the way, as does the antipaladin.  Also here is a self-destruct mechanism for the temple, which is also set off if the statue is destroyed (not deactivated). There is a secret door here as well, which leads outside.

(Note to Orsobuffo: I named this after you, but didn’t put it in the title so as to not interfere with SEO to your blog. Not that this blog is big enough to do that…)

Evil Temple Jpeg

The Evil Temple of Evilness JPEG (2.3 MB)

 

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Dice Drop Table: Institute of Deathology

This table I call the Institute of Deathology. It can be used to quickly populate a necromancer’s tower or hidden lab. It works almost the same as yesterday’s Kaotic Cave, but has fewer possible encounters. You get one die for each room on the same level and drop it on the chart. The large hex the die falls mostly in suggests the theme and use of the room along with a possible occupant. If the die falls in the inner hex, or the occupant is not mobile, then the occupant is there. Otherwise, wait and see where else it might be. If the die is on the border of a few large hexes, see what it touches that goes well together. This tool is meant to suggest, not dictate, so go with whatever makes sense to you and looks fun.

I’m going to populate four floors of a tower that has two rooms each. There are only 12 possible ‘encounters’ on this table, but some rooms might be empty and I’m going to have the head necromancer be in her quarters on the fifth floor.

First two dice come up square on the shoggoth and the traitorous demon familiar.

Dice drop for basement of Necromancer's Lab

Dice drop for basement of Necromancer's Lab

Basement

  1. A shoggoth is hidden in the corner of a room that includes a captive NPC (unconscious or crazy or mute, let’s say), a hideous painting, broken glass, a golden leash, a scroll of banishment and a slime trail near the door. I think I’ll make the cellar one big room and add the familiar, the ‘phone’ to other planes and the broken iron chains. I could have added the rest of the trappings around the familiar but the  die fell only barely on the familiar and the room is already pretty rich with stuff. The familiar or the NPC might have useful information or want to help you deal with the necromancer. The demon is not to be trusted, of course, and might just forget to mention the shoggoth…

Ground Floor

  1. Room one is where the talking head is. Let’s say they use it as an entryway decoration or mojordomo. The d4 doesn’t touch the inner hex, so he could be away (perhaps getting repaired next door). I’ll wait and see what else comes up then decide. In the meantime, the entryway has at least the column the head stands on, a music box, a tray of hard candies and a library (probably for show). Hidden away is a case for the head (to sleep at night) and vials of blood (for maintenance).  The d4 also hit ‘cadaver’ but since I only want 2 rooms per level, I’ll just have a dead body in the entryway. Perhaps Igor needs to take it upstairs…
  2. Room two. The d10 landed mostly on oil lamp and barrel of eyeballs and only a but on shovel, tools and rope. Let’s put the caged zombie(s) room in back with those things and also the straight jacket, lightning prod, mummified cat and the parts on the tables. Seems Igor is making a mess today…

Floor 2

The d10 landed square on the doppelganger apprentice. It has foreign coins, a sword, mirror, torn clothes, a wig and a bottle of poison. (Why does a doppleganger need a wig? I dunno. Maybe they don’t do hair so well. Maybe they need a magic wig? Maybe I made this late at night?). There’s also a secret exit here.

Now the tower isn’t going to have a special room for uninvited doppelgangers, so let’s look  at the other die. It landed on the corner of library, sleeping quarters and is also touching privy, cadaver and parts in drawers (for the clockwork corpse). Let’s forget the parts, but use library and sleeping chambers. Let’s also use sleeping chambers but not for the head necromancer, who is on the top floor. Here’s what we get:

  1. Sleeping quarters. There is a dead body here with a wig, torn clothes and a dresser with a mirror. On the dresser are some coins, which on close inspection turn out to be from a foreign land. In the pricy is a doppelganger who has killed the assistant Igor (in the privy no less) and has just shoved the body down the latrine along with its wig and old clothes. It now looks like Igor and is deciding what to do next. There is a secret exit at the bottom of the privy pit, but the doppelganger doesn’t know. Might be interesting if Igor is just unconscious for a few hours…
  2. Library. There should probably be some scrolls and books here.

Floor 3

  1. The d4 is on Igor’s hex, but he’s indisposed. This is the kitchen, pantry and Igor has a small cot in back. Under his cot is some tasteful woodblock ‘art’, a holy book, and the petty cash for buying household goods. I would suggest swapping this room out with the zombie room below. It’s more likely a servant’s quarters and kitchen are located below, far away from the master’s room.
  2. Naga in tank. This captive naga lives in a large tank. There is a book on a stand near the tank, so it can read. There’s also a painting of a hell-like place, a kaleidoscope which with the book are probably carrots to get the naga to do as it’s asked. Then the sticks are here as well-a harpoon and feeding fish.

Top Floor

  1. This is the necromancer’s quarters. She has sleeping chambers, a privy, a wine ‘cellar’ (let’s say several bottles and some cups), an hour glass, a potion of youth and a cat. There’s also a secret exit here that is most certainly not the privy. Perhaps it is a teleportal to a safe spot a few miles away, designed to allow one person and one cat through before deactivating. Whether she is around is up to you. She could be in the library, zombie room or the basement.

One thing I forgot–where’s the talking head? In the sleeping quarters on the dresser (on a pillow) where Igor sometimes let it nap. It saw the doppelganger kill Igor but played dead.

I hope you find this useful. It was fun to make, as goofy as it is.

Rolang's Necromancer Lab Drop Table

Institute of Deathology v1 (1.8 MB)

 

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Dice Drop Table: Kaotic Cave

It’s not often I get to show off how artistically my development is arrested, but here we go…

A multi column dungeon dressings/rooms/accessories table, with columns like ‘natural cave’, ‘necromancy lab’, ‘mine’, ‘underground prisons’, ‘evil temple’ and whatever you feel like including. Oh why am I the 15th!??!

I’m afraid I can’t do this in the format that you requested. Well I could, but I’m not going to. I  understand the OSR fetish for endless tables, tables, tables, but in this case, I wanted to do something different that will hopefully still be useful for you.

Today’s post is the first in a series of drop tables, the Kaotic Cave (2.4 MB file). This is the ‘natural cave’ table. These tables are all hand-crafted with no real artistic skill whatsoever and are not intended to reflect high production values. To wit:

Level 1 of Kaotic Cave

These are the dice dropped on the chart for level 1 of Kaotic Cave

Just grab a handful of dice and drop them on the table to fill several rooms and with trappings and possibly encounters or encounter hooks. Look under each die at every space it touches and arrange the items indicated on your map however you like. Each large hex has a smaller hex in the middle with an encounter. If the inner hex is not touched, have the monsters be away from their lair when the PC’s arrive. Maybe they are wandering, or perhaps they are in a battle with a neighbor. If multiple large hexes are touched, you can optionally include all the encounters together in a large room or hallway, battling it out.

I have tried to arrange these tables so that encounters that have similar window dressing are close to one another. The Kaotic Cave has several humanoid races close to one another with accessories that fit any group.

Example d4 on Kaotic Caves

Smashed shriekers, mound of skulls, troglodyte corpse and garden

For example, the mound of skulls in the troglodyte hex could easily belong to the Kobalds. If I dropped a d4 on that space, as pictured, I would fill a cave chamber with smashed shriekers, a mound of skulls, a troglodyte corpse, a garden and some trogs fighting the kobalds in their home. Why in the Kobald’s home? If I didn’t have a preference, I’d just go where the larger part of the die is. If two dice cover the same large hex, I reroll the one furthest from the center.

I threw several dice with this, so for level one, I have:

  1. a pack of kobalds [sic] defending their home from troglodytes. They were warned by the dying alarm of their shriekers, which were placed to guard their garden (of mushrooms, I suppose) and the shrine built with the skulls of their ancestors.
  2. a room with troll bones,
  3. an ale cellar with a secret door to the outside,
  4. a corpse in the middle of a pentagram (no obvious explanation, perhaps a hook to later encounters),
  5. an owl bear’s nest with owlbear(s) and all the surrounding trappings (worms, bones, beetles, roaches, centipedes and a half-eaten dwarf),
  6. the mushroom mens’ home with its residents plus all the surrounding trappings (dung, glowing fungus, mulch pile, spore pods, guano and a mushroom garden)
  7. a room with rats eating a dead adventuring party.

Another throw for level two gives me:

  1. a room with a brazier and burnt bones,
  2. the lair of the giant spider, where she is hiding, plus all the surrounding trappings (eggs, more bones, small spiders, a giant web, mummified corpses and a secret exit),
  3. a room full of bats
  4. a hallway with a full backpack and shredded ropes and a trap
  5. a nest of flail snails with the snail family plus slime trails, trippy mushrooms, a dead party, a pile of bones, a pond and a bunch of baby flail snails.
  6. a dead, runt adult albino ape, lying on a dung pile, holding a cow femur
  7. a hidden room with weapons, armor and several jewels belonging to human bandits, who are away.
Level 3:
  1. the d4 went off the sheet, so I’ll add one wandering/pursuing monster to this level: It’s a minotaur who wants the dragon’s treasure but will let someone else kill it.
  2. The lair of the trogs, who have their own skull mound, human bones, a cave painting of demons, trippy berries, their own smashed shriekers and a half eaten kobald [still sic]. These would be the weak, young and elderly trogs, since the boys are out fighting. I wonder who started this?
  3. another chamber of bats and guano–the same large chamber as on level 2.
  4. A pool or stream with a secret underwater door, which leads to a lake outside.
  5. an abandoned campsite (formerly belonging to goblins).
  6. A gelatinous cube lurks in this chamber. A smart party will be wary once they find human bones, a map (of what? you decide!), a scroll of spells, a ring, gold coins and some bits of armor.
  7. The dragon’s chamber, complete with dragon, hoard, ceiling exit, eggs, melted armor slag, pieces of armor and a flock of birds that clean parasites from under its scales as it sleeps.

Now this won’t populate your megadungeon, but I think the above isn’t too shabby for a night of adventuring. The die rolls took twelve seconds total, while the typing took twelve minutes.

Here’s the Kaotic Cave as a hi-res jpeg at 2.4 MB. I’ll probably update the images to make them smaller and more readable later this week.

I hope it was worth the wait, Orsobuffo. Tomorrow: The necromancer’s academy.

Kaotic Cave v1 (2.4 MB)

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Ten Cursed Coins

John Johnson said:

To satisfy my irrational love of the d10 I would love to have 10 unusual, weird, and magical coins.

At the very least, these cannot be disposed of without a remove curse spell.
  1. Dinar of Destruction. This coin transmutes to copper, silver, electrum, gold, platinum, mithril and so forth. It can also change its appearance and apparent age to match any coin ever made. It becomes more precious if the owner is trying to buy something deadly with the intent to cause harm and less valuable if the owner is trying to buy supplies, healing, etc. It appears worthless if given as an act of charity. Merchants will not notice the change consciously.
  2. Dead Mickey’s Doubloon. Anyone who finds this will recognize it as a doubloon, a coin with ‘heads’ and ‘tails’, traditionally used for gambling and making arbitrary decisions. Because it is enchanted/cursed, the first forty times you flip it as a gamble, it will come up as you call it. The next forty it will come up against your true wish, no matter what you call aloud.
  3. Quid of Calling. These coins are bound to a particular animal or monster. There is a 10 percent chance of encountering 1-3 of that creature during the course of the day. Treat these as cursed items for the proposes of getting rid of them.
  4. Kroner of Control. This coin is the monetary equivalent of an intelligent sword, capable of taking over its owner whenever matters of money are involved, whether it is the dividing of spoils or the purchase of supplies. It is very greedy.
  5. Dollar of Detriment. This reduces a random ability score by 5 for two days. Afterward, there is one hour in which it can be given away or slipped into another’s possession. After the hour, it reactivates again, effecting a different randomly chosen ability score.
  6. Mark of the Devil. An infernal coin with occult markings. It catches fire when in water. Anyone possessing this coin for even a minute will bear the mark of The Enemy until the mark is removed via remove curse. Detect evil will reveal them as evil, even if they are lawful good. Unlike the other coins, it is happy to let you pass it around.
  7. Sheckel of Strength. This coin weighs two thousand pounds when held by any but the first in the party to touch it. To this person, it weighs no more than a regular coin. Note: It cannot be used as a weapon because it gains mass as soon as it leaves its owner’s possession. It cannot be used to crush someone, as it rolls over them quickly and to the floor. DMs: In other words, do not let this become a combat advantage unless you want.
  8. Yuan of Youth. The owner of this coin will stop and then reverse the aging of the bearer by ten percent of their current age until they are approximately 10 years old (in human years). Spells and knowledge are not lost, but strength is. Attitudes do revert to those the character had at that age, whatever they may have been. When the spell is broken, age is regained at twice the rate lost.
  9. Guilden of Gum. Will transmute into a very sticky gum when handed from one person to another. This gum will entangle the two together and continue to stretch and expand until all nearby are caught in it. This ball of gummy substance has intelligence and will attempt to immobilize the most dangerous beings nearby. Treat it as a high-level web or entangle spell. These are sometimes hidden in treasure as a deterrent to theft and only work once.
  10. Livre of the Dead. This rare coin will seem a great find of unknown origin and undetermined benefit. It will animate its owner upon death, raising their level by 6. These wight/lich lords will then try to establish a castle, tower or lair and become an enemy of the party.
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